Balls to the Wall: In Search of Burned-Out Drop-Outs by Alan Stapleton March 11, 2015 Clearing out cupboards the other day,
we found some old Valentine Cards that my wife and I had sent to each
other in our days of lusty romance. One card had a pic of an
Orangutang, and inside I had scribbled some loving stuff, and signed it
off ... Your Bok-drolletjie. !! ( Dried Goat Turd for overseas
readers) Aaah, such a Romantic, I was, But amidst all The
Romance, we also found some letters which I thought you might find
interesting. ( Names and places have been changed to protect innocent
people involved)
Dear
You probably won't remember me. I was
that guy that you chased away, saying that I was a shirker because I
wanted to play Social Squash. You said I must go and play rugby, and if
I wanted to play squash, I should join a club, and learn how to play
first.
Well, I had already been to both
rugby, and cricket. If you remember, I was quite a small guy, and
wasn’t blessed with much ball sense so I spent my rugby afternoons,
standing on the side-lines, waiting to come off the bench. Cricket was
worse. I batted down the order, so invariably didn't bat, seldom
bowled, and was schlepped from fine leg to 3rd man. Strange, I thought
the coach and the captain would have discussed this.
I had also tried squash, and really
enjoyed it. I just wanted a chance, and hoped that maybe you could help
me. But thanks for the advice anyway. I did what you told me, and
joined a club and was welcomed and fed into a side of "no hoper adults"
who like me, had probably been blunted by an ambitious coach. I have
learned so much from them, and from squash
I now run my own business, earn quite
a bit more money than you probably do, play 2nd league, am having lots
of fun, and making some interesting business contacts.
I played at your courts, the other
day, and looking at the pics on the wall, I see that many of those top
players don’t play anymore. Sad.
I wonder why ?
XXXXXX
Dear
I am sure you do remember me. I used
to be a “star” player when I was a junior. I had a bit of talent but
fortunately/unfortunately, I developed early and was bigger, faster ,
and hit the ball much harder than most of the girls in my age group .I
shot to the top of the junior rankings. My parents organised coaching
and sponsorship, and I gave up on my other sports. I was
practising/playing virtually every day, travelling to tournaments and
‘the world” had me believing, that fame and recognition awaited me.
But then I stopped growing, and my
contemporaries started catching up .I started losing. My hard-hitting,
retrieving game, all of a sudden wasn’t working. I became fearful of
losing. I started inventing injuries, and excuses. I lost confidence in
my game and myself as a person…. One of the worst things that can
happen. I just wish someone had guided me and held me back a bit
when I was supposedly top of the tree. I wonder if these ranking things
are really such a good thing ?
I survived, and I’m ok. These days I
gym and do a bit of running. Maybe one day I‘ll get back to squash.
It’s such a convenient game. But if I do, I just want to have fun, and
a good sweat .
All the best XXXX
Dear Good to be in touch again, and thanks
for asking me to play in the Old Boys vs 1st Team Match. It actually
got me thinking, cos I have actually packed up squash.
I think those last few years at
school were just too much. Playing 1st team squash and hockey, filling
in occasionally for the 8th rugger bunch, academic demands, prefect
duties, all the school and senior provincial squash leagues, practices
and tournaments, and trying to do my own practising. I just didn’t have
a life.
Yes, I achieved. I am proud of my
school, provincial and SA junior colours and so appreciative of the
people I met and the places I visited. After school, however, there was
no structure or guidance, organising practices was a schlepp, varsity
study was different and demanding, and I had to use my little loot for
petrol or organise lifts. But mostly, I just wanted to have a life,
with some wine, women and song. All of a sudden I realised, “What the
heck. Is this what I actually want? ” So I stopped.
Maybe one day, I will start playing
again cos I really enjoy the convenience and schizophrenic,
claustrophobic competitive fizzle of squash hecticness. And you feel so
good afterwards.
Thanks again for the invitation. Hopefully we can get together for a beer over the re-union weekend
XXXX
Dear
I really appreciate all you do for me. Your support and encouragement on the sports fields and especially at the squash courts. I really love my sports and hopefully
I can achieve some of the goals we have chatted about, but please can I
make one request. It’s great having you around and I know your
intentions are good, but please try and take a back seat and watch
quietly. Those continuous shouts of encouragement and ‘coaching” are
embarrassing and sometimes even affect my concentration. And when you
started moaning at the ref the other night… I could have crawled into
the nick. No matter. Still love you lots XXXXX
Dear Now that I’ve finished varsity and
out in the Big Bad World , I just wanted to send a note to thank you
for encouraging me to play squash when I was going through all those
confused teenager times. I was never great, but I had a great
time, and it was good to be part of a school side that was so
unpressured and had such wonderful camaraderie. Am still playing, hacking around in
7th League but just love that “me-time” when I can sweat, compete, get
away from work hassles, and share some beers and bullshit with my
buddies Much appreciated XXXXX
While these letters are all
fictional, they could all be very true. Of the 5 players who I took to
the World Juniors in Egypt in 1996, only 1 still plays squash.
Are we not creating too much of
a whirl about our School Sports, and pressurising our children
into achieving our un-achieved dreams ? Are we not actually just
creating a heap of dried up, burned out bok-drolletjies who played
their sports for all the wrong reasons, and disappeared into the mists
of business
Alan
Stapleton
– a passionate sports-mad squashaholic , who was introduced to the game
by bribery of chips and Coke while his father dabbled with dobbly
trickle boasts, and then converted at a clinic held by the legendary
Jonah Barrington. While never reaching dizzy heights as a player, he
did play representative/provincial and 1st league squash, and via a
combination of playing, and coaching at all levels , and administering,
he has become addicted to the beautiful highs that this amazing sport
can take one to, day, or night, without fear of rain, wind, heat, hail
or snow, and irrespective of the level of skill. Now, through his love
of writing, he tries to “spread the word” and some nuggets of wisdom
gleaned from his squash journey. Married with 2 children, this former
teacher, now Marketing Manager, lives in Port Elizabeth, South
Africa.
