Hello, Nick Speaking...PSA-PST Feud Spoofed
from Squashsite365
April 11, 2012 - As you may be aware, the US-based PST has issues a challenge to the PSA whereby their respective champions or representatives play in a challenge match.
There's been a bit of a debate on this on our Let's Talk forum.
But we couldn't resist copying this latest post from forum regular "Prophet".
Brriing brriing…. Brriing brriing….Brriing brriing
NM: Hello, Nick speaking.
AG: Oh hi Nick, Alex Gough here. Sorry to bother you right now, I know that you’re over in Egypt playing the world’s best players over the next few days but I thought you should be made aware of something. It’s all over the internet. You’ve been challenged by the PST Crew.
NM: The who?
AG: No, not The Who, that’s an English rock band formed in 1964 by Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend,
John Entwistle and the legendary Keith Moon.
NM: No, I meant who is PST?
AG: Oh sorry, silly me, just had a blonde moment. It’s the Professional Squash Tour.
NM: Isn’t that us, the squash touring professionals?
AG: Well yeah… but no… but yeah… but no… but yeah… but no… but yeah… but no ‘cause they only play in America.
NM: But I distinctly recall playing in America in February, at the North American Open. So it is us then.
AG: No Nick, this is a completely different group of professionals.
NM: Really! What makes them different?
AG: They play a different kind of squash. It’s called ‘No Lets’ squash.
NM: Hmm...‘No Lets’ squash eh…You winding me up?
AG: No no Nick, it’s straight up.
NM: Playing without lets. Isn’t that a little bit dangerous?
AG: Well I’m sure it would be but as I understand it they do call lets in dangerous situations.
NM: So… they call it ‘No lets’ squash but they actually call lets. Isn’t that slightly disingenuous/misleading/dishonest?
AG: Probably.
NM: So why do they call it ‘No lets’ squash when they actually call lets?
AG: Erm…… well…… er…...
NM: Never mind, skip that one. So what’s in it for me?
AG: Well, let me see. You might get to play the PST World champion.
NM: You what!!! But I’m the World champion. How can there be another World champion.
AG: Well, the PST calls the winner of their tour the PST World champion.
NM: You are winding me up. That’s completely loony….. Oh never mind. So, who’s likely to be this alternative ‘World’ champion then?
AG: Er… David Palmer.
NM: David Palmer!!! The only David Palmer I know is Australian David Palmer who retired after the World Open in Rotterdam and then cleared off to the States to earn some cash playing in some tinpot.......... Oh! So it is David Palmer.
AG: Yes Nick
NM: With all respect to Dave I beat him at least on the last three occasions we played, all in 2011, and when he retired I was World #1 whilst he was World #9. So, at the risk of sounding repetitive, what’s in it for me?
AG: Well, PST Commissioner 'Dodgy' Joe McManus expects it would be "the single most anticipated match of the era" on a par with the Ali vs Frazier Thrilla’ in Manilla heavy weight fight in ‘75, the whole squash watching public want it to happen and you might even get to try out ‘No lets’ squash. So Nick, what do you think?
NM:
AG: Did you hear me Nick?
NM:
AG: Hello Nick, are you still there Nick? Hello Nick, hello, hello…..
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