British Army Team Wins In Westchester, Bryan Patterson Rumored To Be NFL Replacement Referee
by Andy Garr
September 24, 2012 - Despite the generous hospitality of the host WCC, their 6-3 victory was marred by a controversy that threatened to take the replacement referee issue off the front pages, but fortunately did not affect the result. In their battle for the War of 1812 Redux trophy, the Brits could be accused of forgetting (or choosing not to remember) an essential cause of that war. As all Americans learned in high school, the British Navy was seizing American sailors from merchant vessels and “impressing” them into the Royal Navy. Being a player short due to injury, an American girl was “pressed” into the Royal Army, read the Articles of War, given an ill-fitting uniform, assigned the rank of private and ordered to play #5 in the match. She lost a close match and in view of the score, the result would not have been altered had she won. In fairness to the British, the girl was heard to say that she did not mind the experience since the Brits were “quite cute”.
The match was hard-fought and was 3-3 at one juncture. The WCC team then brought out the beer and the British, perhaps with a keen sense of smell, turned it on and closed out the match with three victories. The New York Squash representative, despite the loss, was gratified at the hospitality of the WCC. He commented that the controversy was not significant. “Nothing that could not be resolved by a beer on the White House lawn.” Bryan Patterson, attendee without portfolio, had little to say except that he was taking a leave of absence from his numerous positions to become an NFL replacement referee. He added “squash pros are in great demand since the NFL noticed that squash refs have never missed a possession call.”
The results are as follows:
1. Brian Cady (WCC) def LTC Simon White 3-0
2. Capt Chris O’Brien (RLC) def Glenn Brickman 3-2
3. WO1 John Swain (RLC def Ted Murphy 3-0
4. 4. Maj John Heaton (RLC) def Peter Sposato 3-0
5. Hany Abou-Taleb (WCC) def Pvt Gabriella Sarah 3-1
6. WO2 Andy Black (RLC) def John Petrozzi 3-0
7. Steve Konopka (WCC) def LTC John Roskelly 3-1
8. Maj Jim Bacon (RLC) def Andy Toth 3-1
9. WO2 Steven Brown (RCC) def George Schultz 3-2
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