Best and Worst Racquets, Racquet Sports and Other Stuff by John Branston
January 9th, 2024
Why should pundits and wiseacres and AI trolls have a monopoly on “Best
Of” lists at the end or beginning of a new year? No good reason at all.
So here's a random list of the best and worst in the new world of
racquets and racquet sports and, perhaps, rackets.
Favorite Best Sport: Squash. Of course.
Most Elitist Sport: Fox hunting. Squash is second.
Best “Holy S---, Did you see that?” sport:
Padel. See youtube highlights. Yes, I have seen 100-shot squash rallies
and Willstrop's triple whammy (thanks to Alan Thatcher) and diving gets
galore, but have never seen anyone run outside the court to retrieve a
ball and keep it in play. At the pro level, as in squash but moreso,
most everything is gettable.
Worst Racquet Innovation:
The oversized racquetball racquet, combined with the too-bouncy ball.
Ruined a dying sport since the late 1980s. The best player kills
everything in one shot with a rollout. Runnerup: the double-handled tennis racquet. Gotta look it up.
Best Looking Racquet:
A Tad/Davis wooden racquet with sculpted shaft and leather grip.
Runnerup: A Bancroft Autograph wooden racquet with a red shaft and
decal, circa 1963.
Second Runnerup: Any wooden squash racquet, with props to the Cambridge Red Devil.
Hardest Early-generation Racquet to Play With Today:
All of them, but probably the wooden tennis racquets of the Lew Hoad
and Jack Kramer era (ignoring the slabs of wood and sticks used half a
century earlier). Put on your white pants and Jack Purcells and crack
open a can of white Wilsons and try it. Bet you can't hit three balls
in a row. But you can probably hit harder with a wooden squash
racquet and a hardball, American style. Racquetball started as
paddleball with a wooden slab with holes in it and a rubber ball with a
pinhole in it. Then came wooden racquets with strings, then little
metal ones with strings, then big composite ones, then Le Deluge. Trivia note: Racquetball pros used to challenge club players by playing with a ping-pong paddle or frying pan and win.
Best Con Job:
expensive pickle ball racquets, like over $250! Come on, this is a fun
inclusive game for people who can't play real racquet sports. As Vic
Braden said, it's not the racquet it's the turkey on the end of the
handle.
Best of Show for Growth: Pickle
ball, has it all. Cheap to play cheap to build cheap to maintain, cheap
to multiply. Doubles and mixed doubles and revealing clothes are
natural. You might get laid! Spirit is welcoming. You can get better
after you get older. Sooner or later, if not already, some city will
rename itself Pickle Ball and put in 500 courts.
