I Have Confidence by Alan Stapleton January 1, 2017
- My first Jarvis Inter-provincial tournament was a nightmare. I had
been selected, possibly a bit controversially, after a couple of
surprise wins, and desperately felt a need to prove myself. Shortly
before the tournament, we played against Natal and Border over a
weekend. This was my first real inter-provincial. I had achieved
a dream that I had worked towards. But I still did not really believe
in my heart-of-hearts that I deserved to be there. We drove to
East London on the Friday afternoon, and I, first on court, rushed from
the car to court. The gallery was full, and nerves suddenly jumbled my
mind and body. Within 20 minutes, I had been bundled back into the
showers. The next day, wishing to redeem myself, I tried even harder,
and played even worse!
I returned , a determined but broken man, desperate to prove to
friends, team-mates, players who I had ousted from the side, and
myself, that my selection was justified.In the next few weeks, I put
myself through some body-jarringly stupid training. There was no
thought , no thought of honing skills, no thought of building
confidence. Via this training, I developed shin splints, which I
hid from my team mates, hoping they would go away. They did not, and
strapped and straddled, my movement was compromised. The week was an
absolute nightmare. Every match brought more nerves, more determination
but a steady oozing of confidence. And as confidence oozes, everything
falls apart. Your racquet feels like a bat, your legs, wooden. Your
breathing becomes shallow. Your serves and drop-shots become spiky
pokes. Your length shortens.
The “disease” hovered for weeks and only through lots of solo practice,
visualization, and some friendly build-me up talks and matches with
some buddies did I gradually get back to where I had been. During this
time, a friend gave me a tape from The Sound of Music musical and told
me to listen to the cut,” I have Confidence”. That song has walked hand
in hand with me through many valleys and hills
The World Masters was held in Johannesburg in September last
year. I had no ambitions of winning – just wanted to compete, and
see how I would stand up against international competition. Apart from
a wonky knee, preparations went well and in the first half of the
League season, I lost only one match. Then I lost a couple of matches
and suddenly, somehow…my confidence oozed again. Again, my racquet
started feeling like a bat, my legs, wooden. My breathing became
shallow. My serves and drop-shots became spiky pokes. My length
shortened. Why ? There was no pressure from anyone. It was all internal
but I was losing to people I had just a month earlier,thrashed. And it
continued into the tournament. I returned, happy to have participated
but disappointed in myself. I had let myself down.
And it became worse. The sport, that for so long had been my passion,
no longer attracted me. I avoided matches , feeling that I was not even
giving my opponents a decent run. Even coaching became a drag. And like
an addict torn from his addiction, devoid of my regular little
endorphin jab, I became grumpy and irritable.
I walked away from the game for a while.
Until, a couple of Sundays back, I answered a call from a friend on a
Sunday afternoon, looking for a gentle run. On the way to the courts,
that same” I have confidence” song somehow played on the radio… It was
weird. It was if a switch had been turned on. I walked on court, and
somehow, there was a spring in my step, the racquet felt light, … as if
it was part of me. My lobby serves floated high, hanging. My drops
whispered. My lengths died. It was beautiful. Where had it all gone?
I use these two examples to try and illustrate the importance of
confidence in sport, and life. Despite hard work, despite commitment,
despite skills and talent, somehow confidence can disappear. And when
it does, performance levels drop so low that you know not where to go.
Ask Jordan Spieth, Tiger Woods, Jana Novotna…the Springbok rugby side.
So where and how does one hold on to this mystical, magical quality.
This glue that holds performance together. Perhaps the best gifts any
coach, parent, school can give any child. Self-confidence and
self-belief
Taking time out, discussing your problems with someone you respect,
writing down your fears, and your accomplishments, practising in a
stress-free environment all helped me to find that mojo again. Be aware
of your strengths and weaknesses as a player. Break down your goals
into bite-sized pieces. Every step in the right direction will add a
brick to that wall of confidence. Mix with positive people. Find some
short affirmations that you can repeat to yourself. Try to radiate
positivity via your dress, your body language, your smile, the way you
greet people. Follow some other activities that you enjoy. Run, swim,
cycle , play some golf, write, paint. Smile. Place your position into a
Bigger Picture
Sir Alex Ferguson ran a pretty tight ship at Manchester United so he
cannot be far wrong when he says “ For a player – and for any human
being – there is nothing better than hearing the words, “Well done” The
two best words ever introduced to sport.” He continues, ..” few players
improve with criticism…encouragement is a much sharper arrow in a
coach’s quiver”
Twenty years ago, I took a massive career change, when I moved from
teaching into the weird and wonderful world of retail. Two totally
different worlds. On the 1st day of my new job, I played that song, “ I
have confidence” in my car. Last month, I made another massive
change in career direction. On my first day, in my new position, guess
what I listened to on my way to work ?
Confidence and self-belief will be crucial to my success.
